"Jon on Politically Incorrect" Politically Incorrect November 19, 1999 Hosted by Bill Maher |
Guests on
this program were: Bill: All right, welcome to our show from the set of "The View" here in New York. Our panel -- She is a syndicated columnist for "George" magazine and human events, Ann Coulter right over here. [ Applause ] Ann Coulter is right over here. Hello, gorgeous. Ann: Good to see you. Bill: How are you? He is the host of Comedy Central's critically acclaimed "Daily Show." Jon Stewart is right over here. [ Cheers and applause ] Jon Stewart. Jonny boy, thank you for coming. He is the host of HBO's Emmy-winning "Chris Rock Show," and he was our correspondent in '96. Whatever happened to him? Chris Rock. [ Cheers and applause ] Where have you been these last four years? And in this corner, the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world, Lennox Lewis! [ Applause ] Hey! Hey, you, don't make me come over there. Come on. Say, "Uncle," come on. [ Bill laughs ] Because -- I'm kidding. He's the -- he could kill me. Well, it's nice to be back in New York. That's a lie, but I say it. [ Audience Boos ] Jon: Good start! [ Laughter ] Bill: I'm honest, unlike some other shows. Anyway, I do want to talk about New York. They've cleaned it up, except this big problem with the cab drivers. And, Ann, I know you want to arm the cab drivers. Ann: Yes, yes. Jon: With guns? Ann: In addition to their much more dangerous weapons, their cars, yes. No, it occurred to me, Giuliani is staging a great idea, these stings on cab drivers who won't pick up minorities. But why not have stings on the criminals who jump into cabs and then drive off, mug them, kill them? So I was thinking they oughta have some undercover cops driving the cabs. And then it occurred to me, "Well, really, what is the difference between an undercover cop and a cab driver?" The cab driver could've applied to be a cop. Bill: But how could he shoot, not looking the right way and through the glass? How could he shoot the guy like that? Jon: You know what we should give them first is -- what do they call them, maps? [ Laughter and applause ] You know, start 'em slow. Ann: That is a good idea. Lennox: Who's gonna protect us from the cab drivers? Now they've got two weapons. Ann: Well, that's true, but who protects us -- Bill: Their B.O. and the gun. Ann: That's right. [ Laughter ] But there aren't that many civilian shootings, and there are fewer civilian shootings or shootings of innocents by civilians than there are by cops. The cops have guns, why shouldn't -- and I'm not saying necessarily arm them, I just think, if I were a cop, I'd get a gun. Or if I were a cab driver, I'd get a gun. Jon: I've seen cab drivers fly off the handle if their falafel's cold. [ Laughter ] Bill: It's always more guns or more Jesus with you. That's the solution -- it's either more guns or more Jesus. I don't understand that. Ann: You know, that is an excellent summary of my philosophy. I think that's true. Jon: Why don't we arm Jesus? Take care of the whole kit and caboodle? [ Laughter ] Ann: No, but remember when there was that Bernie Goetz shooting in New York. And, wham, immediately, subway crime went down astronomically. Other crimes didn't. All you'd need -- every cop or every cab driver doesn't have to be armed, but if a few of them, when they were being mugged, fought back -- Chris: I'm sure a few of them are armed! [ Laughter ] Ann: Well, those are the ones, it'd seem to me, wouldn't have so much trouble driving into a dangerous neighborhood. Jon: But you realize, though, that that's insane. [ Laughter ] That's clearly insane. Basically, cops -- I mean, we have people that take care of the crime in the city. We call them cops. Bill: Sure. Jon: But they're trained for months, sometimes years, how to use firearms, and even they still shoot the wrong people. Ann: They shoot the wrong people more than civilians do, interestingly. But I'm not saying, "Get a gun and don't know how to use it." They oughta be trained. Jon: For what, like a week? Chris: Drive and shoot at the same time? [ Laughter ] [ Applause ] Ann: No, train the same way cops are trained. Chris: I'm going to rob you, and he's gonna pull over and shoot me? No! What are you talking about? Are you on the pipe? What is wrong with you? [ Laughter ] Bill: How likely is it she's on the pipe? Really. Chris: She's pretty skinny. [ Laughter ] Ann: Presumably, none of you think it's insane, my idea of having undercover cops have some -- you know, drive cabs to sting a few criminals. Chris: But undercover cops drive cabs every night. They really do. There's always undercover cops out. Ann: Well, it's a great idea. They oughta have more of them. But I don't understand why you think it's such a huge leap. I mean, you act as if cops -- Jon: Have you been in a cab? Have you been anywhere near a cab recently? I don't wanna give them cars. [ Laughter ] Lennox: I'm glad that something was done about it, because even I have problems getting a cab when I come to New York. I'm saying -- okay, if I jump in a cab, I say, "Take me to McDonald's," they say, "What street?" I say, "I don't know. You must know a McDonald's somewhere or some kind of fast-food restaurant." And it was such a problem for me. Chris: You know, Lennox, you could afford a limo. [ Laughter and applause ] Bill: And you can also afford not to eat at McDonald's. Chris: You just made $20 million! And you could eat at a nicer place than McDonald's while you're at it. [ Laughter ] Bill: All right, we'll take a break. We'll be right back. [ Applause ] Bill: Okay. All right. We're here on the set of "The View" in New York, but, obviously, we're not "The View." I want to talk about athletes. You are at the top of the game, and you should be. And congratulations, by the way, on having to -- [ Applause ] And he had to beat the guy soundly twice before he got it. So, that's what I call paying dues. But President Clinton last week was in Newark, asking athletes to start being more helpful to young people. He asked help from the NFL and the NBA and other black organizations -- kidding -- [ Light laughter ] He said he wanted athletes to be "Visionaries who can reach out to young people and lead them on a path to college and a better life." Chris: Isn't that his job? [ Laughter ] Bill: Yeah, that's a good point, but I can't think of any worse role models for young people than athletes. Ann: Politicians. Bill: No, I think athletes are even worse. Ann: They don't wanna take half your money and your freedom. I really do think politicians are worse, but I must say I disdain the whole concept of role models, and especially for athletes, because, I mean -- I don't like bandying this term around, but I do think there's something a little bit racist about this. You never hear people saying, "You know, Rock 'n' rollers oughta be better role models." Nobody says, "Kurt Cobain, he oughta be a role model." Chris: Nobody ever asks Danny Ainge what he's doing for the white people. "What are you doin' for the white community?" [ Laughter ] No one ever says that. Ann: That's right. Chris: "Larry Bird, how are you helping your white brothers out?" [ Laughter ] Bill: But one thing black athletes and white athletes have in common is that they all have a very bad attitude. Chris: No, they don't! They're great people! People have bad attitudes. Jon: The only thing they have in common is an exceptional ability in a certain aspect of life that's freakishly unuseful anywhere else. [ Light laughter ] Patrick Ewing, he can dunk. That's not gonna help you after you play basketball, so why should he be penalized for having this wonderful ability for that and asked to do any more than that? Bill: He shouldn't for that. I'm just saying -- yes? Lennox: You know, he's put into a limelight situation where a lot of kids look up to him. So, in a sense, he's gotta kinda watch what he's doing. He can't really swear in public, because he doesn't want maybe some of these kids to be watching him that looks up to him and saying something like that. Jon: Yeah, but what do you really know about sports? [ Laughter ] I think in this situation, clearly, we have to listen to the asthmatic Jewish guy. [ Laughter and applause ] Now, the thing is this -- Bill: You don't think athletes have a huge sense of entitlement from the time they're 10 years old and are pushed through -- Chris: An entitlement to themselves, though. They deserve -- if you can do something better than other people, why, you should get paid for it, "A." Bill: Paid, but you should be able to treat other people badly? Chris: Who's treating people badly? Bill: Athletes. Chris: Like who? Bill: You gotta be kidding. Jon: Not like the entertainment industry, only athletes. You ever been around people when a cappuccino comes in cold? Chris: Darryl Strawberry's not punching me in the face. He's not -- you know. Nobody's hitting me. Nobody's being mean to -- Jon: Corporate America, that's where they treat people bad. Bill: College jocks have the highest percentage of crimes committed on campus. Chris: College campuses -- colleges in the United States exploit black athletes to everybody -- every school, Syracuse, any school out there, Notre Dame. These schools have a 2% black, you know, population, and their teams are 80% black. They are ripping my people off. Bill: Ripping them off? They're coddling them -- [ Applause ] They're treating them -- Chris: And they make money off my people, okay? And my people put white -- my black athletes in white colleges put white kids through school every day. Bill: And for that -- Chris: And it used to be cotton, now it's basketball. Jon: And when you go to the tech schools, M.I.T. -- if you go to M.I.T. or any of those other schools, what they do with the "Mathletes" is -- also -- [ Laughter ] My people. [ Applause ] If I can say, we take the bowl money that they bring in and invest it very wisely. [ Laughter ] And then -- Bill: Okay, I have to take another commercial. We'll be right back. Bill: Okay. Chris, you're agitated about this. Chris: I'm not agitated. Bill: You just said to me that college sports is the equivalent of slavery. Chris: College sports is the equivalent of slavery. There are billions of dollars raised, right? Raised by my people, the black people, helping to raise this money. Bill: Because -- Chris:
All the players are black. 90% of the players are black. Who benefits
from these players? White kids. Jon: What's the NAACP tournament? 'Cause I haven't seen that one. Chris: That's the really big one. All the white kids -- Bill: Isn't slavery when you're forcing someone to do something against their will? I don't think that's exactly what's going on here. Chris: Well, if you have to play at this college in order to get in a good program in order to play basketball, that's -- you are making a person play where they don't want to. Jon: It is a monopoly. There's no other choice. Chris: If a kid could play at a Howard University, where he's going to be welcomed and treated like a person, he would. If he could play at Howard University and make a couple of million dollars, he would. It'd be a better place. It's insane that -- Ann: They have a choice not to go there if they don't want to. And they're stars on those teams. Chris: There's nowhere else to play, there's only one game. Jon: There's nowhere else to go. Chris: You want to play where you're gonna be seen. Jon:
Khalid El-Amin plays for Connecticut. Do you know the kid from
Connecticut, Khalid El-Amin, the point guard, right? He could
lose his eligibility because he drove a car that was lent to him
by a friend of his who wasn't considered a Connecticut booster.
Now, this kid took the Connecticut team to the National Championship
last year. Bill: But what about all the athletes who get away with something? Get away with crimes, get away with things that nobody else -- Chris: You know how many white kids Charles Barkley put through school? 'Cause the schools make money off the players. How many white kids Shaquille O'Neal put through school? Say what you want. Bill: But Charles Barkley can throw somebody through a window, and he won't get in trouble for it, whereas somebody else would go to jail for it. What about that? Jon: Peter Warrick almost went to jail on a felony charge for basically the kind of shoplifting that 90% of college kids do already. How many times did you get high and go into the Tiny Giant and take a chicken salad? [ Laughter ] I mean, everybody does it. You're in college. This is a kid. This is a 19-year-old kid who happens to be a wonderful athlete. Bill: We're talking about real crimes that they commit. Jon: That's a different story. Bill: A story you will not acknowledge. Jon: No, no, I'll acknowledge it if you acknowledge it in the general population. Shine a spotlight on vegas at 3:00 A.M. Chris: If you acknowledge, generally, college athletes are exploited. Jon: They are exploited. There's no question. Lennox: Some of them get blown out of proportion as well, 'cause I've been watching. And I don't think they should be blown out of proportion. It just makes it look really bad, especially for the school. Bill: Well, you know, let me ask you this about boxing. Mike Tyson fought a fight last week or two weeks ago for, like, three seconds and clearly punched the guy after the bell. And they didn't penalize him at all. They gave him $8 million or $10 million for punching a guy after the bell, and everyone who watched that fight and paid money to go see it got two seconds of entertainment. And he didn't hold his purse. Chris: They didn't give him anything. First of all, that's what he makes for doing what he does. Bill: What he does is fighting, which he didn't do! Chris: You say it like -- like he was supposed to make 12 bucks, and they decided to give him $8 million. [ Laughter ] Bill: He violated the rules, again. And they wouldn't even -- Lennox: Accidents do happen. [ Laughter and applause ] You know? And another thing -- That guy never came to fight. He came to lay down. He seen the opportunity and dove on the ground with some leg injury. Given he did land -- Chris: You're not supposed to curse on this show. If you curse, are you gonna lose your job? Are they gonna fine you? Bill: Is that another false analogy? Chris: That's not a false analogy. That's a penalty. You are not allowed to curse on television. Bill: Okay, but that's one that's easily remedied. Punching a guy after the bell is an essential part of boxing. Ann: If Bill stopped showing up, he'd probably lose his contract. And, plus, I think, all three of you, if you were involved in some huge scandal, you'd probably lose your contract. I assume that's a part of your contract. Chris: Yeah, but until we can do what Mike Tyson does -- until somebody in this room can do it, everybody needs to be quiet. Bill: Why can't they make Mike Tyson play by the rules of what he does? He's getting paid enough. Jon: It was reviewed by the commission, they decided that it wasn't -- Chris: Guys, it's fighting! Bill: We all saw it. It was clearly well after the bell. He punched the guy. Lennox: The main thing, he didn't say, "Sorry," so he didn't really mean it. [ Laughter ] Bill: I don't know what it means, but I'm sure you're right, Lennox. I agree. Lennox: He hit the guy after the bell. Obviously, he didn't mean to hit the guy after the bell, so he didn't say he was sorry. That means he never meant it. Bill: If a guy hit you three seconds after the bell, wouldn't you think that that guy should lose his purse and the fight? Lennox: No. Jon: Why does he have a purse? [ Laughter ] Bill: Why? Chris: First of all, the moment you go in the ring, you're risking your life. You should get paid just for risking your life, first of all. Bill: But there are not rules that you should play by? It is boxing. It's not just a bar brawl. Chris: Yeah, if you put a brick in your glove, yeah, don't get your money, okay, fine. But hitting the guy after the bell Lennox: Accidents do happen in the sport of boxing. I felt sorry for the people at ringside. Sorry for all the people that went to the fight. Bill: Me, too. Okay, we gotta take a commercial. We'll be back. Bill: Okay, I just have a couple of seconds. Is it common to be hit after the bell? Lennox: The name of the game is "protect yourself at all times." Bill: And you mean all. Okay, all right. Monday we have Kevin Pollak, Joseph Califano and Ken Curtis. And we will be talking about the drug war, I have a feeling. Thank you, folks.
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