Person of the Week

CALLED TO ACCOUNT One day after his boss promised a crackdown on boardroom criminals, U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney was sued for accounting fraud, which allegedly occurred during his tenure as chairman and chief executive of Halliburton, an oil services company

Noted

"Sometimes things aren't exactly black and white when it comes to accounting procedures."
GEORGE W. BUSH,
U.S. President, defending himself against criticism for failing to properly disclose a 1990 stock sale

Prime Number

5,000 is the number of people in the U.S. who are thought to be connected to al-Qaeda, believe government intelligence agencies

Omen

One in six mainland Chinese have never heard about the aids virus, according to a poll by China's State Family Planning Commission

Winners

ANNA NICOLE SMITH
Buxom widow to star in her own reality TV show. It's like Survivor, except the contestants are all geriatric millionaires

CINTIO VITIER
Cuban poet wins prestigious Mexican prize for literature. He's a scholar, a humanist-and still far less famous than Anna Nicole Smith

JON STEWART
Comic extends his news satire program The Daily Show to CNN International. Early word has Gallagher pegged for Kabul bureau chief

Losers

WINNIE MADIKIZELA-MANDELA
Nelson's ex-wife in court for fraud. All this is just Winnie's way to make sure that Halle Berry plays her in the biopic, not Angela Bassett

JERRY SPRINGERRA
Trash host's show named worst program ever by TV Guide-validation that Springer has succeeded beyond his loftiest ambitions

JOHN HENRY WILLIAMS
Ted Williams' son criticized for having his dad cryogenically frozen. On the plus side, there was plenty of ice around for the wake