SIN Editor Ben Domenech interviewed Daily
Show host and W&M Alum Jon Stewart, Class of 1984.
SIN: Do you have any especially crazy memories
from the last week of classes?
Jon: Not particularly. Everyone went to Nags
Head for a week at the end of school when I was there. Not really
crazy – William and Mary is not the kind of school that you
end up throwing a couch out a window that’s on fire, or something.
I think maybe farting in Swem Library is the wildest we got,
on the last day of classes, sadly. It was that sort of thing.
SIN: Every night on The Daily Show, you have
lots of people that are college-age tune in…
Jon: There’s nothing we can do about it. Believe
me, we have tried.
SIN: …and a lot of them say that you’re their
primary source for news. Do you think that’s a good thing?
Jon: Probably not, because we make so much
up. So that’s probably a bad thing to base things on. But I
also don’t believe that.
SIN: Really?
Jon: Yeah. We live in such a media saturated
age, I don’t think you could have a primary source for news
even if you wanted it. News at this point is osmosis, every
time you go on the internet, every time you go anywhere.
And also, you probably couldn’t really enjoy
our show very much if you didn’t have a basic grasp of the news,
because we’re not that thorough in terms of filling people in
on what’s going on.
SIN: Though you did have H.W. Crocker on the
other night, talking about the Catholic scandals.
Jon: But if you’re unfamiliar with the scandal,
that interview wasn’t probably fulfilling enough if you didn’t
know that much about it.
SIN: They wouldn’t get the wafer joke.
Jon: Yeah, exactly. If you didn’t know a little
bit about what was going down, you probably would’ve thought
that interview was pretty horrific. And even if you did know,
you might’ve thought it was pretty horrific.
SIN: I don’t know, I liked it.
Jon: Hey, it ain’t the chick from Felicity,
but we do the best we can!
SIN: I don’t know if you’re aware of this,
but there are all sorts of stories, myths, and legends about
your experiences here at William & Mary. I don’t know how
many of them are really just…
Jon: Out and out lies?
SIN: Basically. But I did wonder if you knew
about the award we give out that’s named after you.
Jon: I just found out about it! Somebody just
told me about it. It’s for the soccer team, right?
SIN: Yes, it is. “The Leibo.”
Jon: And it’s the award for the guy who’s
not very good, but sorta fun to have around? Is that what it
is?
SIN: It’s given to the soccer player who “best
affects team’s attitude and morale.”
Jon: There you go. In my day, that was the
guy with the best pot. But you know, that was a different day,
a different time.
SIN: One of the rumors that we have that sort
of trickles around here is that…
Jon: I once killed a hobo! With my bare hands!
You are correct sir!
SIN: Something like that… Basically, the rumor
is that you hate us. You hate William & Mary, and you didn’t
like your time here, and you would never consider saying anything
good about the school.
Jon: Oh no no no, that’s not the case. I didn’t
necessarily have the greatest time there. But that wasn’t necessarily
their fault.
SIN: I’m sure that could be said of students
here today as well.
Jon: Yeah. I was also an idiot. I went to
college, I was 17, I didn’t know anything. And it is a conservative
place, coming from where I come from. You know I’m from Berlin
in the ‘20s.
And I did have a sense down there of not fitting
in. But when you’re that age, I think you have that sense. I’d
had that sense in my own family, so I can’t imagine that I wouldn’t
have had it down there. But I also made some great friends,
and loved playing soccer.
SIN: Well, that’s good.
Jon: But it was, for a guy like me who didn’t
know what he was going to do, it was probably the wrong place
to go.
But I enjoy the Hot Holly. And always will.
SIN: Do you think that it’s strange then that
the fact that you came here is one of the things that stands
out to students today?
Jon: Well, I remember when I was there, we
loved Steely Dan, because he said the words “William and Mary”
in his song. So yeah, of course it’s going to stand out, at
some level.
SIN: They draw this whole line of continuum
from Thomas Jefferson to Jon Stewart.
Jon: It ain’t the Kevin Bacon game, but it’ll
do.
SIN: Do you have any particular advice to
the kids who are going crazy outside right now…
Jon: Going crazy outside?
SIN: Yeah, well I’m in Ludwell, so it’s over
on campus.
Jon: Ludwell! Sadly, you’re in Ludwell. Hey,
I lived in the one that’s right next to there. What's that ones
name? Chandler!
SIN: That’s right next to Landrum.
Jon: I lived in Chandler. Landrum was all
ladies when I was there.
SIN: Ludwell isn't. They’ve done a lot of
renovations.
Jon: That’s right next to that field. The
hell is the name of that field?
SIN: Barksdale? Where everyone goes out and
sits and suns themselves?
Jon: Yeah, and then the one jackass always
has to bring a guitar.
SIN: You’re coming to do standup at the Warner
Theatre, in D.C., in May.
Jon: Yes. Yes, I am.
SIN: Do you have any advice for us about how
maybe someday the kids here can help in the creation of funny?
Jon: Help in the creation of funny? I thought
you were going to say something that had a little more…you know,
help in society. But no, "Do you have any, uh, jokes?"
SIN: You have to have your priorities straight.
Jon: No, you’re right, you do. It’s the same
advice as probably there is for everything you do, which would
be don’t think about what the result will be, just concentrate
on getting good.
SIN: Well, that’s pretty good advice.
Jon: It is? For god’s sakes. And stay in school.
And don’t smoke.
But you get what I’m saying. Too much of what
people do is concerned with the result of what the action will
be, as opposed to concentrating on performing the act and doing
it well.
That kind of thing. Of course, if you call
Linda Lavin you’ll get different advice. That’s the beauty of
William and Mary. It's that you have five people that were in
show business. Each one of them will give you a different response.
Glenn Close? She’s got a whole different answer.
SIN: Really?
Jon: Her answer is, don’t worry about getting
good. Just fucking go for the money.
SIN: What would we have to do get a Jon Stewart
appearance on campus?
Jon: I’ve been to campus!
SIN: Would we have to start fundraising now,
or would you come here for like an honorary Ph. D. in “Getting
Down With It” or something like that?
Jon: You know what, here’s my fear of coming
down there for the Ph. D., is that it’s actually just a ruse,
and it turns out that they’re actually just taking away my regular
degree.
Can they do that? Can they take away your
degree, your Bachelor’s, or make it an honorary Bachelor so
it’s worthless?
SIN: I don’t think they can. They’d have to
dig up your old final exams and give them an F.
Jon: I think they already took care of that.
I think maybe the perception is that I don’t
go there for a reason. And that really isn’t the case.
SIN: Really?
Jon: Yeah. I’m just lazy.
You gotta understand, this was twenty years
ago that I was there, so it’s not like I’m going to go hang
out at a frat house and say, “Damn, beer tastes just as good
now as it did then.” I’m just not much of a nostalgia guy.
But it’s not based on, you know, any prejudiced
hatred of William & Mary. I just found it unbearable, what’s
wrong with that!
SIN: Maybe part of it is that a lot of people
who watch you on TV here can see you at those frat parties,
and doing stuff like that.
Jon: Yes. Sadly, that is true.
SIN: I don’t know about “sadly.”
Jon: But you know, there were times... I just
remember the social life there being a really conservative place,
in terms of social life, not just like politically.
SIN: I’m sure it’s relaxed socially and politically
since you were here.
Jon: You know, I can remember crossing the
bridge where you’re supposed to kiss somebody, and there on
the other side of it was one of those street teacher type dudes,
saying “You’re going to hell!” and you’re like “No, I’m just
going to chemistry.” There was a guy that would just stand around
and proselytize.
SIN: Well, he definitely isn’t here anymore.
Did you finish the triathlon while you were here?
Jon: Now what is the triathlon?
SIN: I don’t know if it’s from after you were
here, post-Jon, but it’s three things you’re supposed to do
on campus before you leave. It’s jumping the wall at the Governor’s
Palace…
Jon: Done it.
SIN: Swimming the Crim Dell…
Jon: Uh…
SIN: ...and streaking the Sunken Gardens.
Jon: Okay, no. "A," nobody needed to see me
naked.
"B," The Crim Dell, no. All I did was once
was break in the gym at night and go swimming at the pool. But
I don’t even know if that gym is still there.
SIN: Was it near William and Mary Hall?
Jon: No.
SIN: Was it across from the Chemistry Buildings?
Jon: Yes, that was it. Because when I lived
in Chandler, that was nearby.
Good times. You know, now that I recount it,
what a time I had! What was I thinking? I loved it there!
But listen. I loved playing ball, there were
some really nice guys there. But I also just didn’t know what
the fuck I was doing with myself. I was uncomfortable in my
own skin, let alone being with kids who were not. So that in
itself was probably annoying.
SIN: So does that explain the degree in psychology?
Jon: The psychology degree is simply that
I was a chemistry major, and they kept wanting the correct
answer, whereas in psychology you basically write whatever
you want, and chances are you get a B.
SIN: You can get away with it.
Jon: As long as you write long enough.
SIN: The latest version of the Princeton Review
calls William & Mary the "bootcamp of academia," and calls
the workload "obscene."
Jon: Really? Huh.
SIN: Do you think it was like that when you
were here?
Jon: The nice thing about college is that
you can be as motivated as you want to be. But yeah, it was
definitely “UVA without the Fun.”
I do think that the academics are what the
school was known for. It sure as hell wasn’t athletics, and
it sure as hell wasn’t the social life. But it was also academics
in a very conservative sense. There wasn’t any Black culture
as it relates to, oh, Bob Dylan’s poetry. It was all “-ologies.”
SIN: We’ve got a Black Studies Department
here now.
Jon: That’s what I mean by it was conservative.
Not politically, but also academically.
SIN: In their teaching methods, etc.
Jon: Exactly. So, right or wrong, your experience
there was more limited. Mine was. Especially for someone like
me, who clearly sucked, the fact that it was set up that way
was clearly a drag on me.
SIN: Well, I’m glad to hear that you don’t
hate us.
Jon: Oh no, not at all. I have great empathy
for you, if anything. And for the kids that go there, you will
always have a weird connection with the people who went to the
same school as you. It doesn’t matter where you are. I’m sure
that when people run into each other who both went to the Sorbonne,
it’s the same thing.
There’s just nothing like the Go Tribe! Plastic
beer cup.
SIN: You’re right. Nothing like it.
Jon: It’s just too damn good.
SIN: So far, you have avoided the whole prospect
of “Suddenly Stewart” by staying away from sitcoms, and network
TV, stuff like that.
Jon: It helps being a very poor actor. You
really do save yourself quite a bit.
SIN: Hey, I liked “Death to Smoochy.”
Jon: [laughs] You stand alone, sir.
SIN: But you told Larry King that if a network
offered you a late night deal, you would take it. Either way,
will we be seeing you any time soon on a non-"Battle Bots" network?
Jon: Chances are, no. The other thing I’ve
learned in my years in this business is, don’t look a gift horse
in the mouth. And I’ve got a pretty rare gig. Creatively, I’m
left alone, I can do my own thing, there’s very little network
interference, other than sometimes, you know, “You really shouldn’t
say that about the advertisers on the show.”
I get to live in New York, where I love living.
I get to see my family. There are certain jobs here, you don’t
get to see your wife. I’m paid a stupid amount of money to write
jokes about cardinals flying to the Vatican. This is a very
easy business to get lost in, to be satiated. And that’s not
how I feel. I feel very fortunate about the whole thing.
SIN: So do you consider yourself lucky? Or
blessed?
Jon: Well, I do…but are you trying to make
me go the Jesus route? I just want to thank God for…
SIN: No, though I always wonder why they don’t
offer thanks when they…
Jon: Fuck up?
SIN: You know, like “Thank you for making
me throw that interception.”
Jon: Jesus made me fumble!
Do I feel fortunate? Yes, absolutely. But
I’ll also say this: anybody that I know who works hard at what
they do and is reasonably sane ultimately does okay. And I know
that isn’t something you’ll see in a Jack Welch book necessarily,
or "Seven Habits of Highly Successful" people, but I do believe
it’s a reasonable recipe for not driving yourself nuts.
SIN: It makes sense.
Jon: If I wanted to be a bitter old fuck,
I could’ve stayed in Trenton. I could’ve stayed sitting at the
bar going “I could’ve done this, or I could’ve done that.” The
truth is, until you go out there and do it, you can’t really
open your mouth.
So if I think about it in terms of what anything
great I’ve done, the one great thing I’ve done is try. Other
than that, you have no real control of the outcome.
SIN: That’s good.
Jon: By the way, that’s all in my book, “Sayings
you can sew on a pillow.” It’s really lovely.
SIN: Are we going to see another book anytime
soon?
Jon: The problem with the book is that they
take forever to write.
SIN: Yeah, and you have to use actual spelling.
Jon: You’ve gotta actually sit and do them.
So I’m not sure I’ll have the chance to do that for a while.
I like to write though, and I enjoyed writing the book. My wife
probably didn’t enjoy being woken up at three in the morning
to see if something was funny.
SIN: Is she a pretty good laugh meter?
Jon: It depends. When she’s high, yes.
You find in those kinds of relationships,
you’re not looking for someone who just will laugh, you want
someone who will tell you the truth.
SIN: Like: “That really isn’t funny.”
Jon: Or "you have no ability." Or "you’ve
failed everyone that ever loved you."
But at least you can believe her. But it’s
a very subjective value to begin with, humor; and one man’s
meat is another man’s Carrot Top.
SIN: A lot of people, myself included, feel
that The Daily Show in general, and you in particular…
Jon: You’re about to fire me, aren’t you?
SIN: [laughs] No…that you’ve taken
a comedic direction, post-September 11, that can really be measured
as success against everything else.
Jon: In some respects, you function in this
idea that there’s this post-September 11th reality and pre-September
11th reality. When really, it’s all one reality. And I think
that we won’t know that’s a delineation point until many years
down the line. You can argue that the most important event of
the past millennia has been the birth of Christ, but the day
after he was born they didn’t start calling it A.D.
I think that it’s a mistake that we make to
try to figure out who we are in an era that we don’t understand.
All you can do is what you’ve been doing all along, using your
intuition comedically. In a weird sense--and this is gonna sound
retarded--comedy is a lot like music to some extent.
SIN: That doesn’t sound retarded.
Jon: You use your ear, you hear the flat notes,
and do your best to try to avoid them. It’s an intuitive process,
and your barometer is internal. And due to the volume of what
we do, you hit a lot of flat notes, but it’s your gut that tells
you what to proceed with, and there’s no way to define that
in a pre and post September 11th scenario.
SIN: So you just have really good gut checks.
Jon: One of the things that we did when I
got here was take out…you know, there’s no real edge in gratuitous
slamming of people. There’s a certain school of comedy that
mistakes edge for the obnoxious. I find that the best comedy,
the most edgy stuff is rooted in a way of thinking about something
that other people haven’t come to yet.
To me, that’s edgy. Edgy isn’t calling Carol
Channing a coke whore.
Stepping over the line just to step over the
line isn’t anything any more. The truth is, in a society like
ours, there really isn’t much of a line any more. There’s not
much you can’t do, that’s not allowed.
SIN: Especially on Comedy Central.
Jon: Right! But the existence of HBO, as raunchy
and wild as someone wants to get, you can always turn that on
and see something a lot more. That’s all I’m saying.
I’m bringing the funk to my old school! I’m
breaking it down old school! Kickin it real at...what was that
place? At the Whig!
SIN: The Whig?
Jon: That’s what they called the cafeteria
near Barrett. They had names for them. The Hoi Palloi, the Whig…
SIN: It’s still there, but they renamed it.
We have three cafeterias now.
Jon: Three? You kids today, you have no idea
what it was like...
SIN: We have The Commons, the Marketplace,
and the University Center.
Jon: The University Center is the new one,
I don’t know that one.
SIN: It’s right next door to the stadium.
Jon: Ah, the stadium. Do they still have those
little huts next door to the stadium? Where everyone wants to
live?
SIN: Yes, they’re still there.
Jon: It’s hard in the lottery, though.
SIN: Yeah, everyone gets screwed in lottery.
Jon: Everybody? Hmm.
SIN: Did you live there at some point? Or
did you have off campus hangouts?
Jon: I lived off campus, on Matoaka Court
one year. It was a bunch of soccer players in a house. That
was pretty much it. Again, if you’re looking to hang out, that’s
not the place to go.
Still, there were some awfully good experiences
there. I think.
SIN: As much as you can remember. Well, thanks
for talking to us.
Jon: My pleasure.
SIN: And hopefully at some point in the future
you can come down here…
Jon: Maybe I can come down and be your commencement
speaker.
SIN: We would love that. Would you be willing
to?
Jon: Sure I’d do that! You kidding me?
SIN: How about this year? They haven’t announced
anyone yet.
Jon: Mine was Elizabeth Dole, I think.
SIN: So are there any words of wisdom you’d
like to bestow on us on the last week of classes?
Jon: Okay, so if
you’re gonna go to Nags Head, and you’re gonna get high... Just
wait til you get there. There are a lot of cops on Yorktown
Pike. And from a man who had to go to the Court House and explain
himself, in front of the judge... Take it from me. Just wait.