SIN Editor Ben Domenech interviewed Daily Show host and W&M Alum Jon Stewart, Class of 1984.

SIN: Do you have any especially crazy memories from the last week of classes?

Jon: Not particularly. Everyone went to Nags Head for a week at the end of school when I was there. Not really crazy – William and Mary is not the kind of school that you end up throwing a couch out a window that’s on fire, or something. I think maybe farting in Swem Library is the wildest we got, on the last day of classes, sadly. It was that sort of thing.

SIN: Every night on The Daily Show, you have lots of people that are college-age tune in…

Jon: There’s nothing we can do about it. Believe me, we have tried.

SIN: …and a lot of them say that you’re their primary source for news. Do you think that’s a good thing?

Jon: Probably not, because we make so much up. So that’s probably a bad thing to base things on. But I also don’t believe that. 

SIN: Really?

Jon: Yeah. We live in such a media saturated age, I don’t think you could have a primary source for news even if you wanted it. News at this point is osmosis, every time you go on the internet, every time you go anywhere. 

And also, you probably couldn’t really enjoy our show very much if you didn’t have a basic grasp of the news, because we’re not that thorough in terms of filling people in on what’s going on.

SIN: Though you did have H.W. Crocker on the other night, talking about the Catholic scandals.

Jon: But if you’re unfamiliar with the scandal, that interview wasn’t probably fulfilling enough if you didn’t know that much about it.

SIN: They wouldn’t get the wafer joke.

Jon: Yeah, exactly. If you didn’t know a little bit about what was going down, you probably would’ve thought that interview was pretty horrific. And even if you did know, you might’ve thought it was pretty horrific.

SIN: I don’t know, I liked it.

Jon: Hey, it ain’t the chick from Felicity, but we do the best we can!

SIN: I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but there are all sorts of stories, myths, and legends about your experiences here at William & Mary. I don’t know how many of them are really just…

Jon: Out and out lies?

SIN: Basically. But I did wonder if you knew about the award we give out that’s named after you.

Jon: I just found out about it! Somebody just told me about it. It’s for the soccer team, right?

SIN: Yes, it is. “The Leibo.”

Jon: And it’s the award for the guy who’s not very good, but sorta fun to have around? Is that what it is?

SIN: It’s given to the soccer player who “best affects team’s attitude and morale.”

Jon: There you go. In my day, that was the guy with the best pot. But you know, that was a different day, a different time.

SIN: One of the rumors that we have that sort of trickles around here is that…

Jon: I once killed a hobo! With my bare hands! You are correct sir!

SIN: Something like that… Basically, the rumor is that you hate us. You hate William & Mary, and you didn’t like your time here, and you would never consider saying anything good about the school.

Jon: Oh no no no, that’s not the case. I didn’t necessarily have the greatest time there. But that wasn’t necessarily their fault. 

SIN: I’m sure that could be said of students here today as well.

Jon: Yeah. I was also an idiot. I went to college, I was 17, I didn’t know anything. And it is a conservative place, coming from where I come from. You know I’m from Berlin in the ‘20s.

And I did have a sense down there of not fitting in. But when you’re that age, I think you have that sense. I’d had that sense in my own family, so I can’t imagine that I wouldn’t have had it down there. But I also made some great friends, and loved playing soccer.

SIN: Well, that’s good.

Jon: But it was, for a guy like me who didn’t know what he was going to do, it was probably the wrong place to go.

But I enjoy the Hot Holly. And always will.

SIN: Do you think that it’s strange then that the fact that you came here is one of the things that stands out to students today?

Jon: Well, I remember when I was there, we loved Steely Dan, because he said the words “William and Mary” in his song. So yeah, of course it’s going to stand out, at some level.

SIN: They draw this whole line of continuum from Thomas Jefferson to Jon Stewart.

Jon: It ain’t the Kevin Bacon game, but it’ll do.

SIN: Do you have any particular advice to the kids who are going crazy outside right now…

Jon: Going crazy outside?

SIN: Yeah, well I’m in Ludwell, so it’s over on campus.

Jon: Ludwell! Sadly, you’re in Ludwell. Hey, I lived in the one that’s right next to there. What's that ones name? Chandler! 

SIN: That’s right next to Landrum.

Jon: I lived in Chandler. Landrum was all ladies when I was there.

SIN: Ludwell isn't. They’ve done a lot of renovations.

Jon: That’s right next to that field. The hell is the name of that field?

SIN: Barksdale? Where everyone goes out and sits and suns themselves?

Jon: Yeah, and then the one jackass always has to bring a guitar.

SIN: You’re coming to do standup at the Warner Theatre, in D.C., in May.

Jon: Yes. Yes, I am.

SIN: Do you have any advice for us about how maybe someday the kids here can help in the creation of funny?

Jon: Help in the creation of funny? I thought you were going to say something that had a little more…you know, help in society. But no, "Do you have any, uh, jokes?"

SIN: You have to have your priorities straight.

Jon: No, you’re right, you do. It’s the same advice as probably there is for everything you do, which would be don’t think about what the result will be, just concentrate on getting good.

SIN: Well, that’s pretty good advice.

Jon: It is? For god’s sakes. And stay in school. And don’t smoke.

But you get what I’m saying. Too much of what people do is concerned with the result of what the action will be, as opposed to concentrating on performing the act and doing it well. 

That kind of thing. Of course, if you call Linda Lavin you’ll get different advice. That’s the beauty of William and Mary. It's that you have five people that were in show business. Each one of them will give you a different response. Glenn Close? She’s got a whole different answer.

SIN: Really?

Jon: Her answer is, don’t worry about getting good. Just fucking go for the money.

SIN: What would we have to do get a Jon Stewart appearance on campus?

Jon: I’ve been to campus!

SIN: Would we have to start fundraising now, or would you come here for like an honorary Ph. D. in “Getting Down With It” or something like that?

Jon: You know what, here’s my fear of coming down there for the Ph. D., is that it’s actually just a ruse, and it turns out that they’re actually just taking away my regular degree.

Can they do that? Can they take away your degree, your Bachelor’s, or make it an honorary Bachelor so it’s worthless?

SIN: I don’t think they can. They’d have to dig up your old final exams and give them an F.

Jon: I think they already took care of that.

I think maybe the perception is that I don’t go there for a reason. And that really isn’t the case.

SIN: Really?

Jon: Yeah. I’m just lazy. 

You gotta understand, this was twenty years ago that I was there, so it’s not like I’m going to go hang out at a frat house and say, “Damn, beer tastes just as good now as it did then.” I’m just not much of a nostalgia guy. 

But it’s not based on, you know, any prejudiced hatred of William & Mary. I just found it unbearable, what’s wrong with that!

SIN: Maybe part of it is that a lot of people who watch you on TV here can see you at those frat parties, and doing stuff like that.

Jon: Yes. Sadly, that is true.

SIN: I don’t know about “sadly.”

Jon: But you know, there were times... I just remember the social life there being a really conservative place, in terms of social life, not just like politically.

SIN: I’m sure it’s relaxed socially and politically since you were here.

Jon: You know, I can remember crossing the bridge where you’re supposed to kiss somebody, and there on the other side of it was one of those street teacher type dudes, saying “You’re going to hell!” and you’re like “No, I’m just going to chemistry.” There was a guy that would just stand around and proselytize.

SIN: Well, he definitely isn’t here anymore. Did you finish the triathlon while you were here?

Jon: Now what is the triathlon?

SIN: I don’t know if it’s from after you were here, post-Jon, but it’s three things you’re supposed to do on campus before you leave. It’s jumping the wall at the Governor’s Palace…

Jon: Done it.

SIN: Swimming the Crim Dell…

Jon: Uh…

SIN: ...and streaking the Sunken Gardens.

Jon: Okay, no. "A," nobody needed to see me naked.

"B," The Crim Dell, no. All I did was once was break in the gym at night and go swimming at the pool. But I don’t even know if that gym is still there.

SIN: Was it near William and Mary Hall?

Jon: No.

SIN: Was it across from the Chemistry Buildings? 

Jon: Yes, that was it. Because when I lived in Chandler, that was nearby.

Good times. You know, now that I recount it, what a time I had! What was I thinking? I loved it there!

But listen. I loved playing ball, there were some really nice guys there. But I also just didn’t know what the fuck I was doing with myself. I was uncomfortable in my own skin, let alone being with kids who were not. So that in itself was probably annoying.

SIN: So does that explain the degree in psychology?

Jon: The psychology degree is simply that I was a chemistry major, and they kept wanting the correct answer, whereas in psychology you basically write whatever you want, and chances are you get a B.

SIN: You can get away with it.

Jon: As long as you write long enough.

SIN: The latest version of the Princeton Review calls William & Mary the "bootcamp of academia," and calls the workload "obscene."

Jon: Really? Huh.

SIN: Do you think it was like that when you were here?

Jon: The nice thing about college is that you can be as motivated as you want to be. But yeah, it was definitely “UVA without the Fun.”

I do think that the academics are what the school was known for. It sure as hell wasn’t athletics, and it sure as hell wasn’t the social life. But it was also academics in a very conservative sense. There wasn’t any Black culture as it relates to, oh, Bob Dylan’s poetry. It was all “-ologies.”

SIN: We’ve got a Black Studies Department here now.

Jon: That’s what I mean by it was conservative. Not politically, but also academically.

SIN: In their teaching methods, etc.

Jon: Exactly. So, right or wrong, your experience there was more limited. Mine was. Especially for someone like me, who clearly sucked, the fact that it was set up that way was clearly a drag on me.

SIN: Well, I’m glad to hear that you don’t hate us.

Jon: Oh no, not at all. I have great empathy for you, if anything. And for the kids that go there, you will always have a weird connection with the people who went to the same school as you. It doesn’t matter where you are. I’m sure that when people run into each other who both went to the Sorbonne, it’s the same thing.

There’s just nothing like the Go Tribe! Plastic beer cup.

SIN: You’re right. Nothing like it.

Jon: It’s just too damn good.

SIN: So far, you have avoided the whole prospect of “Suddenly Stewart” by staying away from sitcoms, and network TV, stuff like that.

Jon: It helps being a very poor actor. You really do save yourself quite a bit.

SIN: Hey, I liked “Death to Smoochy.”

Jon: [laughs] You stand alone, sir.

SIN: But you told Larry King that if a network offered you a late night deal, you would take it. Either way, will we be seeing you any time soon on a non-"Battle Bots" network?

Jon: Chances are, no. The other thing I’ve learned in my years in this business is, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. And I’ve got a pretty rare gig. Creatively, I’m left alone, I can do my own thing, there’s very little network interference, other than sometimes, you know, “You really shouldn’t say that about the advertisers on the show.”

I get to live in New York, where I love living. I get to see my family. There are certain jobs here, you don’t get to see your wife. I’m paid a stupid amount of money to write jokes about cardinals flying to the Vatican. This is a very easy business to get lost in, to be satiated. And that’s not how I feel. I feel very fortunate about the whole thing.

SIN: So do you consider yourself lucky? Or blessed?

Jon: Well, I do…but are you trying to make me go the Jesus route? I just want to thank God for…

SIN: No, though I always wonder why they don’t offer thanks when they…

Jon: Fuck up?

SIN: You know, like “Thank you for making me throw that interception.”

Jon: Jesus made me fumble!

Do I feel fortunate? Yes, absolutely. But I’ll also say this: anybody that I know who works hard at what they do and is reasonably sane ultimately does okay. And I know that isn’t something you’ll see in a Jack Welch book necessarily, or "Seven Habits of Highly Successful" people, but I do believe it’s a reasonable recipe for not driving yourself nuts.

SIN: It makes sense.

Jon: If I wanted to be a bitter old fuck, I could’ve stayed in Trenton. I could’ve stayed sitting at the bar going “I could’ve done this, or I could’ve done that.” The truth is, until you go out there and do it, you can’t really open your mouth.

So if I think about it in terms of what anything great I’ve done, the one great thing I’ve done is try. Other than that, you have no real control of the outcome.

SIN: That’s good.

Jon: By the way, that’s all in my book, “Sayings you can sew on a pillow.” It’s really lovely.

SIN: Are we going to see another book anytime soon?

Jon: The problem with the book is that they take forever to write.

SIN: Yeah, and you have to use actual spelling.

Jon: You’ve gotta actually sit and do them. So I’m not sure I’ll have the chance to do that for a while. I like to write though, and I enjoyed writing the book. My wife probably didn’t enjoy being woken up at three in the morning to see if something was funny.

SIN: Is she a pretty good laugh meter?

Jon: It depends. When she’s high, yes.

You find in those kinds of relationships, you’re not looking for someone who just will laugh, you want someone who will tell you the truth.

SIN: Like: “That really isn’t funny.”

Jon: Or "you have no ability." Or "you’ve failed everyone that ever loved you."

But at least you can believe her. But it’s a very subjective value to begin with, humor; and one man’s meat is another man’s Carrot Top.

SIN: A lot of people, myself included, feel that The Daily Show in general, and you in particular…

Jon: You’re about to fire me, aren’t you?

SIN: [laughs] No…that you’ve taken a comedic direction, post-September 11, that can really be measured as success against everything else.

Jon: In some respects, you function in this idea that there’s this post-September 11th reality and pre-September 11th reality. When really, it’s all one reality. And I think that we won’t know that’s a delineation point until many years down the line. You can argue that the most important event of the past millennia has been the birth of Christ, but the day after he was born they didn’t start calling it A.D.

I think that it’s a mistake that we make to try to figure out who we are in an era that we don’t understand. All you can do is what you’ve been doing all along, using your intuition comedically. In a weird sense--and this is gonna sound retarded--comedy is a lot like music to some extent. 

SIN: That doesn’t sound retarded.

Jon: You use your ear, you hear the flat notes, and do your best to try to avoid them. It’s an intuitive process, and your barometer is internal. And due to the volume of what we do, you hit a lot of flat notes, but it’s your gut that tells you what to proceed with, and there’s no way to define that in a pre and post September 11th scenario.

SIN: So you just have really good gut checks.

Jon: One of the things that we did when I got here was take out…you know, there’s no real edge in gratuitous slamming of people. There’s a certain school of comedy that mistakes edge for the obnoxious. I find that the best comedy, the most edgy stuff is rooted in a way of thinking about something that other people haven’t come to yet. 

To me, that’s edgy. Edgy isn’t calling Carol Channing a coke whore.

Stepping over the line just to step over the line isn’t anything any more. The truth is, in a society like ours, there really isn’t much of a line any more. There’s not much you can’t do, that’s not allowed.

SIN: Especially on Comedy Central.

Jon: Right! But the existence of HBO, as raunchy and wild as someone wants to get, you can always turn that on and see something a lot more. That’s all I’m saying.

I’m bringing the funk to my old school! I’m breaking it down old school! Kickin it real at...what was that place? At the Whig!

SIN: The Whig?

Jon: That’s what they called the cafeteria near Barrett. They had names for them. The Hoi Palloi, the Whig…

SIN: It’s still there, but they renamed it. We have three cafeterias now.

Jon: Three? You kids today, you have no idea what it was like...

SIN: We have The Commons, the Marketplace, and the University Center.

Jon: The University Center is the new one, I don’t know that one.

SIN: It’s right next door to the stadium.

Jon: Ah, the stadium. Do they still have those little huts next door to the stadium? Where everyone wants to live?

SIN: Yes, they’re still there.

Jon: It’s hard in the lottery, though.

SIN: Yeah, everyone gets screwed in lottery.

Jon: Everybody? Hmm.

SIN: Did you live there at some point? Or did you have off campus hangouts?

Jon: I lived off campus, on Matoaka Court one year. It was a bunch of soccer players in a house. That was pretty much it. Again, if you’re looking to hang out, that’s not the place to go.

Still, there were some awfully good experiences there. I think.

SIN: As much as you can remember. Well, thanks for talking to us.

Jon: My pleasure.

SIN: And hopefully at some point in the future you can come down here…

Jon: Maybe I can come down and be your commencement speaker.

SIN: We would love that. Would you be willing to?

Jon: Sure I’d do that! You kidding me?

SIN: How about this year? They haven’t announced anyone yet.

Jon: Mine was Elizabeth Dole, I think.

SIN: So are there any words of wisdom you’d like to bestow on us on the last week of classes?

Jon: Okay, so if you’re gonna go to Nags Head, and you’re gonna get high... Just wait til you get there. There are a lot of cops on Yorktown Pike. And from a man who had to go to the Court House and explain himself, in front of the judge... Take it from me. Just wait.