KATIE COURIC, co-host:
Last year, the presidential election provided
lots of fodder for the late-night comedians, but these days, "The
Daily Show"'s Jon Stewart still manages to find lots of prime
Mr. JON STEWART ("The Daily Show"): The president
and first lady arrive in Brussels for a historic summit. Bush
daughters arrive at White House for historic keger.
Upon touching down in Europe for the first time,
the president immediately noted that this Europe was even nicer
than the one they have at Epcot.
COURIC: That was funny.
Mr. STEWART: Hilarious! Oh, my God!
COURIC: I hadn't seen that. Hi, Jon.
Mr. STEWART: I look like David Copperfield.
COURIC: How are you?
Mr. STEWART: It's an illusion.
COURIC: Nice to see you.
Mr. STEWART: I'm doing well. How are you? How's
COURIC: I'm good.
Mr. STEWART: How's the -- the knee operation?
COURIC: He's doing well, as Ann reported in
the 7:00 news.
Mr. STEWART: I wasn't up yet.
COURIC: He's out of the hospital. He's home.
You weren't awake yet. But he's doing well.
Mr. STEWART: Can I tell you -- did he get what
I asked him to get? I want him to get his knee replaced with the
COURIC: That would have been pretty convenient
for him, wouldn't it?
Mr. STEWART: So that he -- he could do this,
'All right, time to check the weather,' then he just drops his
pants. 'Let's see what's going on in your neck of the woods.'
(Jon Stewart growling and lifting his knee up
in the air)
COURIC: That's a great idea.
Mr. STEWART: Don't you think?
COURIC: Yeah, that would have been neat, Jon.
All right, let's talk about -- let's talk about politics. George
Bush in particular. Is he turning out ...
Mr. STEWART: His European trip.
COURIC: ...is he turning out to be as much fun
to cover and to -- to mock as you thought he would be?
Mr. STEWART: He's the best. First of all, it's
COURIC: OK, sorry.
Mr. STEWART: I'm a journalist.
COURIC: Sorry, I forgot.
Mr. STEWART: I'm sorry, fake journalist. I --
I love it. Here -- here's a man who is -- he is what he says he
is. He is a uniter. I have never seen Europe this united against
us. He's really done -- he's done a tremendous thing. He got Sweden
mad at us.
COURIC: There's been -- I mean...
Mr. STEWART: Sweden!
COURIC: He didn't get a very warm reception.
Do you think there's been...
Mr. STEWART: Sweden is mad at us!
COURIC: ...do you think there's...
Mr. STEWART: These are people -- their day consists
of volleyball and sex. They don't get mad.
COURIC: Well, what do you think he's done wrong
with his European adventure?
Mr. STEWART: It could have been going there
and telling them that everything they hold dear is wrong. You
know, they have a whole thing about global warming being bad and
maybe us not doing the laser system above the earth. And may --
so maybe it was when he landed and went, 'Hey, forget about that
global warming treaty and that laser system, we're building it.
See you guys!' You know what I mean? It was like -- he's like
the accidental tourist. He just kind of shows up with the -- you
know, the Hawaiian shirt and the thing. "Hey, you guys got a Pizza
COURIC: What do you think about all the controversy
about his -- his daughters? Of course, that...
Mr. STEWART: That's a dangerous situation.
COURIC: That's been in -- in the headlines a
Mr. STEWART: Yes.
COURIC: People magazine did a cover story about
Mr. STEWART: Sure.
COURIC: They were criticized in some quarters.
Of course, the Bushes were not happy with that.
Mr. STEWART: Yes. Although, with the cover story
on them, I had to dig deep to find out what was happening with
Matthew Perry's Vicodin addiction. I don't like to read that closely.
The -- the -- the Bush twins, I mean, Katie, look, they ordered
margaritas at a restaurant. I mean, thank God it was a Mexican
restaurant, at least they knew how to make it. But imagine if
they had done that in, let's say, a German restaurant. Something
that specialized in perhaps Octoberfest. Well, the bartender would
have been stunned and wouldn't have known what to do. Could have
been a whole international incident.
I -- the kids are -- the Bush twins are -- it's
ridiculous. I don't even know what to -- I don't know what the
issue is. Nineteen-year-olds trying to order alcohol with fake
ID. Hmm, you know, you'd need more than 24 hours of news to cover
all the kids who did that one.
COURIC: So you think the press should lay off?
Mr. STEWART: The press?
COURIC: Yeah, covering them.
Mr. STEWART: No, what I've liked about the press
coverage is not the coverage but it apologies about the overcoverage.
The coverage of the overcoverage I thought was much more interesting
than the coverage of the coverage.
Mr. STEWART: I thought the footage of the overcoverage
was really astounding, whereas the undercoverage was not so covered.
COURIC: All right, I got you. All right, let's
Mr. STEWART: But Bush...
COURIC: ...let's take a look at -- at the leadership
of -- of the Senate -- because I know it's changed.
Mr. STEWART: Are they here?
COURIC: No, but we...
Mr. STEWART: Where...
COURIC: ...we've got...
Mr. STEWART: Delay!
COURIC: We've got a clip from your show where
you're talking about that.
Mr. STEWART: From our show?
Mr. STEWART: I hope you paid.
COURIC: We're here to promote you. It's all
about you, Jonathan.
Mr. STEWART: Really? You're a sweet woman.
COURIC: Let's take a look. Shall we?
Mr. STEWART: Yes.
(Beginning of clip from "The Daily Show")
Mr. STEWART: The ousted majority leader Mississippi
Senator Trent Lott was bestowed with the ironic title of minority
Mr. TRENT LOTT (Republican, Mississippi, Senate
Minority): Primarily, I want to extend my congratulations to --
also my partner and my friend -- Tom Daschle. As the majority
leader, I also extend to him my hand of continued friendship and
Mr. STEWART: Adding, 'Psych!' Daschle also addressed
the body politic.
Mr. TOM DASCHLE (Democrat, South Dakota, Senate
Majority): Polarized positions are an indulgence, an indulgence
that the Senate cannot afford and our nation will not tolerate.
Mr. STEWART: That's the new majority leader?
Dude, makes Al Gore look like Captain Dynamo.
(End of clip from "The Daily Show")
COURIC: It is kind of funny, the posturing that
Mr. STEWART: It is kind of funny. Someone should
do a show about that. Oh, wait, that's me.
COURIC: What do you think is use -- you think
anything will change as a result? Or...
Mr. STEWART: Of course not. My favorite thing
is when they act sanctimo -- 'The American people want us to stop
bickering. It's time for us to get back to the people's business.'
What -- what -- so what business have they been running out of
there? Like, what, have they got a deli in the back? They're running
Mr. STEWART: You know, Trent Lott, it's time
for you to stop that lemonade stand over on Washington Avenue
and get back to the people's business.
COURIC: It's kind of...
Mr. STEWART: Go clean Jon's gutters.
COURIC: It's pretty amazing that Jim Jeffords
could do so much damage to the Republicans. It's this one single
Mr. STEWART: What's so amazing about it is how
much damage he did in a system that is antiquated and parliamentary.
'Yes, Jeffords has switched. And now, the minority leader won't
be able to vet and pull a blue slip on the judicial nominations
as they do the addendum in committee.'
The American people are like, 'Ah, don't you
guys just vote on stuff?'
Like they got all these -- it's ridi -- it's
like literally we're living in 18th century England. You know,
the -- the rules of the Senate. Do you even understand what goes
COURIC: Barely. It's complicated. You're right.
Mr. STEWART: It is comp -- Katie, I'm outraged.
Mr. STEWART: You know what I'm doing today?
Mr. STEWART: Getting both my knees replaced.
COURIC: Are you?
Mr. STEWART: And you know what they're going
Mr. STEWART: I'm going to get them replaced
with neon signs, 'I'm outraged.'
COURIC: OK, you do that, Jon.
Mr. STEWART: And then Al Roker and I -- you
know, here's the thing, Katie, I haven't been on this show in
awhile. And you forgot...
COURIC: How weird you were?
Mr. STEWART: You -- you forgot that I'm weird.
COURIC: No, I haven't.
Mr. STEWART: I -- I've never -- you know, I
have that look on my face. You ever been on really, like -- like
a blind date where your friend sold you really high and you got
there and the girl was like, 'I got to talk to my friend.'
COURIC: Actually, you know what? I -- I reread
our transcripts from past interviews last night. And I...
Mr. STEWART: Have you really?
COURIC: I remembered how weird you were last
night. So I was prepared.
Mr. STEWART: I would have read the transcripts,
but I'm too busy reading Oprah's transcripts.
COURIC: Are you?
Mr. STEWART: Katie, in my courage journal, may
I read to you from it? 'Today I had chocolate. I didn't want to.
I had to. No, I did -- see! Now I'm not weird, now I'm amusing.
Little weird dancing man.
COURIC: Oh, we got to go. I'm sorry. Bye, Jon.
Mr. STEWART: I'm just waking up!
COURIC: Thanks for coming by.
Mr. STEWART: Wait, I got funny things!
COURIC: OK, good. Stick around, tell us during
Mr. STEWART: All right.
COURIC: You can catch "The Daily Show"
weeknights at 11:00 PM on Comedy Central on cable.
Mr. STEWART: The political system is...
COURIC: It's 7:46. Up next, this is actually
a very touching story. We've got a lost dog story with a happy
Mr. STEWART: What?
COURIC: Right after this.