___________
  /                      \
 |   Jon Stewart   |     "Bloop"
  \___________/

Okay, this isn't technically a transcript, but I didn't quite know where else to put this. For those of you who missed the Pop Up Video version of Millionaire, here are some of the highlights. Jon played for the Alzheimer's Association and ended up winning $125,000. (Notes, explanation, and observations are in parenthesis.)

• BLOOP - Jon was the best player during rehearsal.

• BLOOP - They're the weirdest bunch we've ever had on the show. -- Regis (Regis comments on this round of celebrity Millionaire.)

• BLOOP - "Obsessed" with Regis (Pops up next to a brief shot of Jon.)

• BLOOP - Daily Show ratings have gone up 400% since Jon became host in 1999.

• Quote - "The girl now doesn't leave, ever." (In response to Regis' question, "How has [marriage] changed your life?")

• BLOOP - Millionaire's female staff members ranked Jon the cutest celebrity on the show.

• BLOOP - Jon's wife Tracey was in the audience -- but didn't want to appear on TV.

• BLOOP - Jon's first job: stock boy at Woolworth.

• BLOOP - Rap fan (Pops up next to shot of Jon.)

• BLOOP - Drew [Carey] later thought his own questions were much harder. (Pops up after a question posed to Jon about Spinal Tap.)

• BLOOP - Jon hung out backstage with Alec, Drew, Norm and Charlie. (That would be Alec Baldwin, Drew Carey, Norm MacDonald, and Charlie Sheen.)

• BLOOP - Jon was hoping to be done the first day -- his lifelines were leaving town. (Jon played second after Alec Baldwin, but the show ended before his turn was up. He screamed, "NO! I have to go to work!")

• BLOOP - DJ is a writer on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. (DJ was Jon's lifeline. When Regis asked Jon which friend he would call, Jon responded, "I only have one.")

• Quote - Regis: "The Alzheimer's Association would win a quarter million dollars if you get this, and if you don't, they're back down to $32,000." Jon: "Yeah, but they'd forget about it eventually." (Jon got boos with some laughs mixed in, but the audience forgave him because his grandmother had died from Alzheimer's, which he pointed out apologetically.)