"Comedy Central Chat with Jon Stewart"
Comedy Central
January 31, 2000


Yahoomc: He's here!

Yahoomc: Please welcome the host of "The Daily Show", Jon Stewart!

jon_stewart_live: Hello friends, thanks for waiting.

ettennaC: What is your view on movie stars running for public office?

jon_stewart_live: The movie star is such a rare and beautiful creature that I believe we should have one in all aspects of our lives, be it politics, medicine or some of the more manual service industries.

jon_stewart_live: Hello, my name is Sharon Stone, I'll be vacuuming your carpet today!

zenforjonstewart: Does Jon think the media is important in helping voters decide their position?

jon_stewart_live: I believe so otherwise it's very difficult for you to hear about it.

jon_stewart_live: For instance, when I was growing up it was the time of the pony express.About six years ago I voted for Chester Arthur. It was very slow! I think the media has a grand responsibility in helping us decide.

dmrjturner: Do you think the primaries really make a difference, or does it just make for good clips for "The Daily Show"?

jon_stewart_live: The reason primaries make for good clips is that they are more focused locally. For instance, watching Orrin Hatch milk a cow may help him in the Iowa caucuses. But as far as the rest of the country goes, we just want to see him get hit in the eye with some spray.

cmaccise1: Jon, who was a better prime minister: Yitzak Rabin or Bebe Netanyahu?

jon_stewart_live: Oh, Netanyahu, I mean very little rhymes with Rabin.

ruhlen: (for Jon) Has anything made up for the loss of comedic material from Quayle dropping out?

jon_stewart_live: I think Keyes and Bauer have done their best to entertain. But they've certainly fallen short of Quayle. I think our only hope now is that we haven't yet played our trump card which is the Reform Party.

jon_stewart_live: You know how when a sitcom gets tired they introduce a baby to spice it up. I think that's what Buchanan and Trump are going to do for us.

i8theworld: How did it feel interacting with Jello Biafra on Politically Incorrect?

jon_stewart_live: Interaction I believe is too strong a word.

jon_stewart_live: Do you mean how it felt to sit next to Jello Biafra when he talked at me? I can only say it was dissimilar from biting into a York Peppermint Patty.

i_luv_attention: How has your new life in show business changed your regular life?

jon_stewart_live: Well I don't make as much in tips as I used to, but then again, I don't have to bus as many tables as I used to.

dontbethcfree: Who is the person you have enjoyed meeting the most on your show?

jon_stewart_live: I think he is of a generation of people I don't have that much interaction with, people that actually came thru the fire of World War II, the kind of service you don't see anymore. He was interesting to talk to. Oh, and the girl from Charmed. I'd say the two of them, both hardened by war.

indigo_spiral_gal: How did you get your job on "The Daily Show"? Was it because your name was in the title?

jon_stewart_live: That's an interesting question. My name in the title came from an old habit I have from college of putting my name on things. For example, you didn't want to come thru four years of college and say, Where is my Styx album? Where is my Aqualung, Jethro Tull album. So I put my name on the show so when my roommate comes home drunk he just won't use it.

KombuchaMushroom: Hello John, love "The Daily Show". Is there any chance you can expand your interview sessions by a few mins? You are a good interviewer.

jon_stewart_live: That's very nice of you to say, but that's a government mandate that I am not allowed to talk to a celebrity for more than four minutes. Sort of like in China where you are not allowed to have more than one baby. If I go more than four minutes, we are on aggregate over our celebrity quota, and then we'd have to go deporting stars, and nobody wants that.

malaccoda: Mr. Stewart, what is your opinion on the bickering going on between Sen. Bradley and Vice President Gore in New Hampshire?

jon_stewart_live: First of all, thank you for calling me Mr. Stewart. And secondly, I imagine it's similar to Romulus and Remus fighting over the wolf teat. It began as a high minded debate on health care and campaign finance reform, and has turned into, no I'm not, you are, shut up, you are a d*#k! And it demeans them both.

Holdens_brother: Leno said that all the snow made Bush nostalgic (about cocaine). Do you think the joke was harmful or harmless?

jon_stewart_live: I'm always surprised when people think that jokes about events are harmful and then ignore the event. I've never seen a joke errantly blow up a Chinese embassy.

zenforjonstewart: Congraulations on your success, you're very talented. Do you think morals and previous drug use should be known for a candidate to run for office?

jon_stewart_live: I honestly think that in the history of our nation and most nations, personal conduct has had very little bearing on the kind of leader. But realistically the information of drug use and past indiscretions is far more damaging to a candidate than it should be. But that being said, no one wants to go to an Inauguration and see the President doing lines off the Secretary of State's ass. Metaphorically.

crj_capn: Hey Jon, does Forbes have a snowball chance in hell?

jon_stewart_live: I've always found that our best presidents have one thing in common. And that is the ability to blink. Unfortunately that puts Forbes out of the race.

Spiffy415: What was Steve Forbes answer to the Indecision 2000 question about if he was rich enough to relocate a bunch of people to New Hampshire so he could win the primary?

jon_stewart_live: It was hard to hear his answer because the hydraulic mechanics it takes for him to move his head and speak to us had not been perfected. So the drone of the machine noise drowned out his response. But I think that's been fixed.It's interesting to me that he is criticized for how much he spends on a campaign when every network media group spends far more to cover it. Except us... But we are thinking of buying a computer.

webmasterfunk: If Al Gore wins, does the lumber biz lose?

jon_stewart_live: Much has been made about Al Gore's protective measures he wants to put over cross cutting trees and the like. But remember Al Gore is just trying to protect his own. When you are made of wood, it's very tough to watch trees fall. It's nepotism at its worst.

penalty15_1999: Jon, do you think perot should run, if not just for the jokes?

jon_stewart_live: This year I honestly don't think he's needed. When you have Trump, Buchanan and Ventura in the wings, it's like saying hey we have a great show with Robin Williams, Steve Martin and Richard Pryor. How about we get Milton Berle to close? We don't need him anymore. Unless he is going to do something really bat shit insane. But he's got to promise.

Smokey_Joe50: Did you turn red when Gillian Anderson sat on your lap?

jon_stewart_live: Probably. Is that what the kids are calling it these days, turning red? I remember when that meant did you vote communist when Gillian Anderson sat on your lap. But I'm an old, useless man.

EmuJunkee: Where has been the weirdest place you've been in your life?

jon_stewart_live: That's a very odd question. I guess it was waking up drunk, naked and bruised in that petting zoo.

vplking_2000: Why was THE Jon Stewart show ever cancelled, I loved it?

jon_stewart_live: It was cancelled because they have a thing in the television business that I just recently found about called ratings. And apparently you have to have one to stay on the air. By the way, I knew that he loved the show, that when we got our ratings, they used to just give us the names of the people who watched the show. It was like, last night was a great night, ALL the Hanson family watched!

cmaccise1: Jon what's the difference between The Jon Stewart Show and "The Daily Show"?

jon_stewart_live: About four months. Certainly, the old show was much more similar to I imagine what people see in a typical talk show and thus probably had a tougher time standing out. Oh, and this show has a budget.

Sherif98: What is the Best work Jon did in his Entire career?

jon_stewart_live: I guess I don't stop to analyze it that much. I look upon it as sort of the best move I ever did was moving up to New York to try and pursue something I really wanted to do. But I look at everything I do and try to be as proud of it as I can. But you always think you could do it better.

rrsa2g: Will you be doing any stand-up comedy in the near future?

jon_stewart_live: Yeah, I will be playing Carnegie Hall in June so before that gig I will be travelling around a little bit trying to get back into shape.

smapdis_girl: Are you aware of the roots of words? Well, Poly means many, right? And tics are nasty little scum sucking creatures, right? Well, then, why the hell are you worried about POLI-TICS?

jon_stewart_live: LOL! Did you read that on a dixie cup?

crj_capn: When all is said and done, and Bradley loses, do you think he will support Gore ???

jon_stewart_live: I think they've gotten to a point where the rancor is too great, and it's become too personal.

Earth2Kim: How do "The Daily Show's" researchers find those quirky pieces of information about the candidates?

jon_stewart_live: It's all stuff that's pretty much available to the public. We basically just use news searches and fish for the most interesting facts we can find. Or we just make them up.

staros_14: Do the correspondants enjoy going to the caucuses/primaries/interviewing the candidates and being wiseasses? Sounds like an ideal job to me.

jon_stewart_live: I have two words for why the correspondents enjoy their jobs so much covering the political primaries. And those two words are: Open Bar.

CoolDan989: Did you ever feel guilty after one of your gags?

jon_stewart_live: Yes. I mean we try very hard during the day to make sure our target is right and the angle and joke is appropriate, but we screw up and don't get it right all the time. But there is a Chaplain on staff and we are usually readily absolved. Sometimes it's a Hail Mary, sometimes you just have to skip lunch the next day.

smapdi75: Jon what do you feel about a woman as president?

jon_stewart_live: It depends. Certainly of a cosmetics company, that would be wonderful, but we're talking about the country here. No, it truly depends on the woman. For instance, I'm not sure Farrah Fawcett would be the right choice, but I'm sure there are other women out there who could handle the job.

doodler500: OK, I live in Southeast Florida not too far from Miami, and even though this doesn't have to do with anything, I'm sick of Elian Gonzales! Every broadcast station I get is "All Elian, All the time." I wish my streets weren't flooded with demonstrators, and I wish everyone would get on with their lives! My question is, anyway, do you actually care that much anymore?

jon_stewart_live: It's hard for me as I sit here on Elian Gonzalez street across from P.S. Elian Gonzalez to really say. But I'll be sure when I head down to Elian Gonzalez Square Garden tonight to ask my friends.

crj_capn: Honestly, why is it that Gore and Clinton are so popular? Most people believe the good economy is not from the current administration what do you think?

jon_stewart_live: I think no matter what they believe it to be, whoever is in charge in times of relative prosperity, there is the advantage of that prosperity. We have been going thru a time of economic quirkiness and no real threat to our sovereignty. Kind of a nice combo for a politician.

MeGusta293: what do you think about Gore admitting he smoked weed on MTV?

jon_stewart_live: It's the progression of, you know... once people realize that the pot issue wasn't going to preclude you from being in office. I'm sure we'll look back in the election of 2020 and the chat room discussion that night will be what is your opinion of the current candidate saying that he took Ecstasy but he never raved.

AuntHeidela: What was your first big screen debut in?

jon_stewart_live: I think anyone who knows my filmography knows that I started out in the immortal role of Roller Blader #1 in the seminal film Mixed Nuts. Where I uttered the seminal phrase, Hey, Look out!

abosina: There is a cooking book with photographs by Jon Stewart--is that just the guy with the same name?

jon_stewart_live: People love to talk about me and my other passion which is taking pictures of food. My next book is all papparazzi pictures of food, where I hide in bushes and try to catch celebrities in quick shots of them making Apple Brown Betty.

CoolDan989: Have you ever dreamed of being president?

jon_stewart_live: That would have to be a no.

krimzonwingz: Are you usually surprised by the answers celebrities give you?

jon_stewart_live: I'm usually not listening.

hazyglass: Mr. Stewart, have you considered the comedic applications of the Libertarian Party?

jon_stewart_live: I don't know, you don't seem to squeeze the same humour out of all the Lyndon Larouche jokes that you used to.

Blues000: My sister often refers to you as "a god among men". Really. Any thoughts?

jon_stewart_live: She's never had to shave my back.

flame_baby333: What's the first word that comes to mind when someone says, "Monica Lewinsky"?

jon_stewart_live: I believe that the first word that comes to mind is "passe".

billyboy_3: Whats the most embarassing thing that ever happend to you on the air?

jon_stewart_live: Hmm, it's always, there's not one moment that you know, And that's when my pants fell down. For me, it's when I'm just sucking, when I'm just not being funny, and you realize that there are a lot of people at home going, "Hey, what's on the infomercial?"

Holdens_brother: How badly will you slam Bauer for falling off the stage at today's pancake flip-off?

jon_stewart_live: As badly, I imagine, as we slammed Fabio for getting hit in the face with a goose.

booyahgames: Being a Canadian, your petty politics don't really concern me, but I would like to know, what is in Bill Bradley's pants?

jon_stewart_live: Well, you better hope it's not a smart bomb, you cocky Canuck. And if I were you, I would just hope we don't run out of natural resources down here. Otherwise, we're coming up into the attic to get more.

GlitzGrl: Do you find yourself to be more "into" politics since your show started????

jon_stewart_live: Actually, I mean, not really, I think I probably followed a little harder before I did it. Now, when I get home, I just want Oprah to make it all right for me, and then go to bed.

the1spice: were you a nerd in school and did you ever study insects?

jon_stewart_live: If by nerd you mean was I smaller than average with a lot of acne and had an insect collection, I'd have to say yes.

mr_ignatz: Jon, do you miss "Mr. Show" as much as I miss "Mr. Show"?

jon_stewart_live: I thought that was one of the best sketch shows I'd ever seen. They never ceased to surprise me with something funny.

keith_richards_is_a_zombie: Better Guns N' Roses song, "Paradise City" or "Welcome To The Jungle"?

jon_stewart_live: I'm going to to "Welcome To the Jungle". By the way, I say that as I'm twirling my bandana.

i8theworld: Have you talked to Letterman since his surgery?

jon_stewart_live: No. Mostly I'm just in constant contact with his doctors. But I've given my recommendations. They seem to know what they're doing though. I just hope he gets better soon because I'm finding it hard to find things to watch on TV at night.

jeddawi_ti3im: Congratulations on your upcoming marriage Mr. Stewart. When is the knot going to be tied?

jon_stewart_live: Thank you. As soon as she arrives. Now the company said 4 to 6 weeks, but you know how the mail is in Thailand.

narfist1719: Are you going to do any more episodes of 25 Lame Videos on MTV?? That was hilarious!

jon_stewart_live: Yeah, but next time I'm going to be wearing some kind of kevlar or armour. And next time we going to keep the people whose videos we're playing outside the building.

dani80_2000: How do you think Hillary will do in New York if and when she runs for the Senate.

jon_stewart_live: It's just a difficult thing to call. Both their personalities at a certain point are not strong suits for them. The biggest difficulty for Giuliani will be to sew up the upstate vote, I think Hillary makes that job easier for him. It's hard to call. I think he makes a better mayor than he would a Senator truthfully.

Donevan_Chick: Are you making any new movies?

jon_stewart_live: Not that I am aware of. But you know with cameras these days... God knows what's going on in my bathroom.

noelle_chen: Mr. Stewart, do you like doing your TV show, or being in movies more?

jon_stewart_live: I think the TV show is more satisfying, creatively and otherwise. But whenever I get the urge to say the same line five times and then sit in a trailer for five hours, smoke and listen to music, I will go back. It's fun to do occasionally.

MiloMillions: Are you related to Martha Stewart?

jon_stewart_live: I actually am. Did you ever see the movie Basket Case? We were twins and I was cut from her side and raised in a basket.

weaverchild: What's it like being the most popular new guy in the world?

jon_stewart_live: It's so rare that I ever hear from the world, that I didn't realize I was.

stargazing_ski_gurl: John, after "The Daily Show", what do you plan to do?

jon_stewart_live: What have you heard? What are you trying to tell me? Is it time to get the resume out? What are you saying?

billfreidman: Why have we been fooled into thinking that only two political parties exist?

jon_stewart_live: I think we've been fooled into thinking that there is such a thing as Democrat and Republican and that they are two distinct groups that believe in two separate dogmatic premises. But unfortunately this is the way that it functions. And I think in Europe they look upon the fact that Democrats and Republicans aren't even different. They run the gamut from fascism to communism, and because it's usually a parlimentary system those parties actually do have some validity and pertinence. But in our country, when both political parties use as the hilarious fun moment at their conventions, the dancing of the Macarena, clearly we're lacking diverse voices.

juan_girl: Do you think that the revival of game shows might indicate the return to a new enlightenment?

jon_stewart_live: I think the revival of game shows indicates the rapidity that people without ideas will jump onto something that they think might make them some money. And that if Alf comes back and is successful, you can count on every network developing their own really unique, edgy puppet.

cherrysher: How much money do you make - in Lira?

jon_stewart_live: LOL! It's funny you should say that, I'm paid in Reales so I just don't know.

jon_stewart_live: I want to thank everybody very much for joining us today. I hope you get a kick and hopefully some insight from the political coverage we are going to be offering over the next nine months.

jon_stewart_live: Oh, wait, that was Ted Koppel's closing speech, I can't find mine!/p>

Yahoomc: Thanks for joining us Jon!


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